Sunday, August 26, 2012
Confidence and Paranoia
There is a great episode of Red Dwarf called "Confidence and Paranoia" where Lister's confidence and paranoia take human forms. Everywhere he goes, he has each of them behind him telling him how great/crap he is and he ends up getting rid of both of them.
When you write a lot of stuff, it takes a long time to have the confidence to express yourself properly. For me I did not do this until Poles 'N' Goals and Hesselink. This was by far my biggest selling book and is still being bought and commented on now.
I thought about this when bringing out Albert, Dougie and Wim. When I started writing again I had little confidence in my abilities as a writer, or even wasn't sure I had any. By the time it came to summer 2012 and bringing out Albert, Dougie and Wim I wanted to put out a message that no matter how low you feel, things can get better. So I came up with Channeling Charlie Mulgrew which is a 15,000 word story that is really about my lack of confidence in myself at the time.
The worrying thing was that everyone thought it was literal! There is of course a lot of truth within but I'll leave you guessing as to what...
For my next book, By Any Means Necessary-A Journey with Celtic Bampots, I've, what they would say, pushed the envelope and written a story that is about new found confidence that can turn into ego called Projecting Paddy McCourt to have a bit fun with what happens when suddenly folk start telling you you are good.
In life we often have lows, so much so that you think they will never end. Indeed a very good friend of mine, someone most of you will know, is prone to days like this and I bet none of you would guess who. The key isn't confidence or paranoia, it's just being yourself.
As they say in The Bronx, Keep it real.